To Ponder
Greetings from Hawaii
By Juli Patten, Vice President
My life in the sandwich generation
As I sat in the doctors office with my father who is 71 , my 66 year old mother and my 19 year old daughter, I kind of wondered in my head how I got to this point in life. I don't remember my parents ever taking care of their parents. My paternal grandmother came to live with us when I was a teenager for several months. I always thought she came to Hawaii to escape the cold Minnesota winters. Now thinking about it, as one of five children in the winter months, grandma became my parents responsibility. When the doctor asked my father how his bowel movements were and he described them in vivid detail while my daughter covered her ears, I realized I am in between all of this somehow. I am still raising my children and I am also raising my parents.
While taking our children to the doctor, monitoring their bodily functions, making sure they eat right and stay out of trouble are all things we signed on for when we brought those beautiful little babies into the world, doing those same things for our parents was not listed in the life's little play book I received. Don't misunder-stand I love my parents and would do anything to help them. I just thought I could finish raising my kids first.
When ever I am trying to figure things out I look to my faith for answers. The 10 commandments helped right away, Honor thy father and mother. I have never had a problem with that one, I love my parents and honor the person they have helped me become. I guess sitting up with a list of 30 medications and putting them into morning and evening pill containers fall under that commandment.
Ephesians 6:1 Obey your parents. So when my mother calls at 10:30 needing help with my father I hop in my car and drive right over, that surely would fall under that verse in the Bible. Colossians 3:20 Obey your parents in all things. So when my father wants to go the theater that is 15 minutes closer and smells slightly of stale popcorn and mildew rather than go to the newer, cleaner one I must live my faith and hold my nose.
1 Timothy 5:4 If any widow has children or grandchildren let them first learn to show piety at home and to repay their parents, for this is good and acceptable before God. Okay this really gets to the heart of it, if I look at my life through this lens of faith, then all these things that sometimes make my life complicated are just small tests of my faith I should embrace them. Most of the time I am able to look at all these little moments and be joyful that I have my parents and they can still be a tiny thorn in my side, filled with love.
“Yesterday is but a dream, tomorrow but a vision, But today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness, and every tomorrow a vision of hope”.
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